Ever since i was young i broke life down into stages. My great grandmas on both my mothers and fathers side lived into their late eighties. With advances in modern science, medicine, exercise and a good diet, i figure ill live to be at least a hundred years. Sounds like a long time, but when you just turned twent five and realize you’re a quarter of the way there, mortality starts to kick in. The older I get the more the sense of urgency kicks in to do something big, something great, to be remembered for. I dont have a religion to fall back on like 85% of the world, for me when they bury me six feet deep its over, lights out, no waking up to bright lights, no fathers, no fat bald men, no mansion in the sky. Im not saying that none of this stuff exists, its just i dont know, so if I dont know, who am I to pretend otherwise? So while i keep searching and asking questions, i have to stay hungry.
Every young boy thinks hes invincible. My generation grew up on Arnold,Van damme, and stallone. We are the ninjas that dont get caught, the commandos that dont get shot, the bullet dodgers, the tireless warriors. I was Macho man doing a flying elbow drop off the top of the couch onto the dazed pillow below. And then something happens. Someone tells us that its make believe, we see someone die, we fall down and crack our heads. That one traumatizing moment that we realize that we cant just hit the reset button when something bad happens, we are stuck with our actions/events that change our world for better or worse. No time machines to take us back and change our fate. Its a sad day when we lose that amazing part of us. We dont do back flips on the trampoline anymore, no more jumping off the bunk bed pretending your spider-man, we start using our brakes on our bicycle rather than peddaling as fast as we can to hit the big jump. I used to be fearless. Now I have to settle for being brave, I miss not knowing fear.
Everyday is one step closer to the finale. When you think in that way, you tend to be a little more ambitious than others. Most religions preach suffer now, dont sweat this life because someday if you’re lucky you’ll get that mansion in the sky and float around with all your homies from down south. Whoever wrote that wasnt rich because i want my mansion now not later, let me get my piece of the celestial pie now, not later. Its kind of just lazy if you think about it. Shouldnt we be go getters, the ones that change their stars, the gatekeepers of our own destiny? I want my day in the hot sun now not tomorrow. We should keep striving to do all we can, see the pyramids, walk the great wall, run a marathon, kiss the most beautiful girl in the world and fight in the biggest fight of our lives. Whether their is a God or not, I cant imagine an all powerful being wanting us to wait til the end of our lives to start living.
So as i just hit my quarter century mark i look within to see where Im at in life. I have a lady that somewhat likes me, I have a genetic offspring to pass on my bloodline, im a middle tier mma fighter that hasnt quite made it yet. Am i satisfied with it all so far? No. I want it all, I havent seen King Tutankhamens coffin yet, havent walked Ghengis Khans stepping stone, havent fought a fight that defined who I perceive myself to be. I have so much more that I want to do. Patience has never been a virtue i possess, i want it all now, i planned on seeing the pyramids this march. Instead im going to fight that fight that ive been fighting since i could throw a punch. I used to fight imaginary warriors en route to that climatic battle with the end boss. The fights changed every time, sometimes i was Superman and used my pure awesomeness to overwhelm him, other times i was batman, digging a little deeper within myself,bruised and battered, coming back from the brink of failure to overcome my opponent. When I step into the cage I always hope to show that im the last son of Krypton, earths champion that never wavers even for a moment. But should superman not show up, Batman will find a way, waiting for his moment to come through, pushing adversity aside to win the day.
Quarter century down. Three more to go.My face and body are covered with scars,aches and pains, by the end of this ill have many more. I have so many things to see, so many questions to find the answers to.God?Buddha?. I have a couple teenagers i still need to meet/threaten to murder if they touch my daughter. I stopped counting the grey hairs a long time ago, thats a battle im not going to win. I have goals to accomplish and new ones to make. One thing i always hold onto is that when we stop having goals we start to die. Some people say they are ready when God is, im not one of them, i refuse to be on that once a year plane crash, im not bungy jumping, im not swimming with sharks. I prefer my feet on the ground anyway. I envy that security people feel about dying. But i dont envy the ones that wait to start living. Now is the time to live, bring that mansion down from the sky today, fight that battle that would make Hector and Achilles proud. Januarys Bellator fight cant come soon enough. Im stronger now. My heart and mind have have walked paths my feet have not. And my hair is heroic. Walk like Lions my friends.