When you are young life is simple. The things you want, toys, cake and balloon are pretty easy to come by if you play your parents right. My kid has enough to go around. I wasn’t so fortunate in that territory, I wanted other things. My dad to come home and save me from my older brothers, my mom to keep her promises and for the monsters in the dark to leave me alone. I got older, we all matured, my mom is my mom and the monsters aren’t as strong as me. The wants changed. I found out about hunger.
Off to college I went chasing a pipe dream. Found out the hard way that college wrestling doesn’t pay well. I went hungry some nights, others a 99 cent loaf of french bread never tasted so good. Disappointed a few people when I dropped out to pursue MMA. I met some good and bad people, all of them taught me a lesson for better or worse. Fortune smiled on me when I met a good friend in need of a life change.
I met a lady in need of weight loss, which I knew a thing or two about. We became friends outside of the gym, I cried over my girl problems and she cried over her dude problems. It was a good friendship. But the greatest thing she did for me was introduce me to her parents. Mom is a hairstylist extraordinaire with most childlike,beautiful soul. Dad is full of old time wisdom, full of sage advice and an unwavering belief in God. The best part? They let me eat over. All the time. I would lay in the family hammock, the two family dogs laying with me, dad and mom would cook. Some of the best days of my life, a second family.
A few months ago I received a call. Dad has cancer. Talk about the last guy you’d expect to receive/deserve cancer. I can think of a hundred people off the top of my head that could use some cancer, rotten people. How could this kind man get something so awful? After my last Bellator fight in SoCal, I went over and visited with them, hugged him and gave him my walkout tee before I left. his faith in God to make it better, amazing. A deity couldn’t ask for a more faithful follower.
This morning I woke up to “dad has 1-4 weeks left”. Wow do I take things and people for granted. I’m a gamer, I hit the reset button on the Xbox when ish isn’t going well. Apparently this is life, no reset button or do overs. The talks after my fights won’t be happening, no more bbq’s, the girl advice, the ammo reloading, it’s over. I’m going to miss him so much. He took me in at a rough time in my life.
I know it’s part of life to pass on to the other side, heaven, reincarnated as a wolf, a mansion in the sky where you have everything you ever wanted. I haven’t found a faith or belief system outside of the man in the mirror is the one that I look to. But with all that I am I hope he was right. That he goes to the place where there are no burdens, no hunger and the crippled walk. I envy his surety of God. No fear whatsoever. Only the good die young.
Gods speed Gary Brooker.



2 thoughts on “Starving

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